6 Lessons I Learned from 80s Television

Hey, remember my awesome post about Bill and Ted's Excellent Adventure?  Well, here's more 80s nonsense:

6 Lessons I Learned from 80s television:

1.  No matter how bad it got, the plucky orphans will be okay.

If there is one thing that Punky Brewster, Webster, Arnold and Willis from Diffr’ent Strokes  taught me, it’s that cute, sassy orphans will get the family they need, and change the lives of their adopted families for the better.  This was comforting to me.  Throughout my childhood,  I spent my time being plucky and spirited just in case... Not that I ever wanted to be an orphan, I was just covering my bases.  

2. There doesn’t always need to be a boss.

Who was the boss?  Was it Angela?  Or Tony?  Maybe it was man-crazy Mona? No one ever knew.  You know why, because the boss wasn’t on the show.  It was all of us watching.  The boss was in our hearts. 

3. If something goes wrong, just go back in time and fix it.

Quantum Leap and Sliders knew how to change history.  Forget these new movies like The Butterfly Effect, those nerds are over-thinking it.  What could go wrong? Just go and fix the error.  Don’t re-write the whole story, just edit.  Everything will be fine.  Why do you worry so much?

4. Mom and Dad can fix your problems in 22 minutes.  

Sure you’ll spend 16 minutes trying to get yourself out of trouble, but in the end you will have to tell them.  And in 5 minutes, your parents will be able to undo your mistake and the outcome of your crazy half-cocked plan to get out of trouble.   They will leave enough time to tell you they love you, and that they hope you’ve learned from your mistake.  Of course you have.  Hug it out.

5. There is such thing as “Justifiable Braticide.”

The Cosby Show taught me that parents were allowed to kill their bratty children.  Cliff Huxtable told Theo, “I brought you into this world, and I can take you out.”

What a comforting thought for a child.

6. There were no rules for nicknames; it was wide open.

On Growing Pains, Mike Seaver's best friend was "Boner."  On The Cosby Show, Theo's best friend, "Cockroach." Yep.