Thursday, 30 August 2012

Ongoing Battles Of Will: Phrasing Feud

D and I were talking. He says I use too many "big" words.  I think I use just enough.  I like words, they are fun.  Here's part of the convo:

D: How did you know...?

Me: You know, I can extrapolate data from incomplete sources. 

D: You mean you can figure stuff out.  Why do you talk like that?

Me: I dunno.  'Cause I'm smart?  Because I want to express myself clearly by using appropriate

D: You mean you want to be understood?

Me: That's what I said.

D: No, you used more words than you needed to.

Me: I think I used the appropriate numbers of words to convey what I was thinking.

D: You're doing it again!  You're being verbose.

Me: No, I am not. I have a large vocabulary, and I find challenging myself to use words that are
       frequently misused or forgotten, fun.

D: Okay.  You say "potato..."

Me: ...I say "subterranean, starchy, tuberous, crop."

Wednesday, 29 August 2012

Foodie: Breakfasts on the Go

I used to be the type of person who grabbed coffee and a muffin on the way to work.  Not the healthiest way to start my day, and really expensive.  So I started looking for things I could take with me that were not costly, and were not, basically, a bald cupcake for breakfast.  So someone, I can't remember who, turned me onto refrigerator oatmeal.   And I totally love it.

If you don't know what this amazing concoction is, essentially, it is soaked oats in various yummy yogurt mixtures.  You make it the night before, and grab it in the morning.  Its super easy to make, and I find them very yummy.

All versions start with the same 2 basic ingredients: oats and chia seeds.  Yes, the Ch-ch-ch-chia kind.  Here's how I make it:

1/3 cup of plain Greek or Balkan style yogurt
1/3 cup of rolled oats (not instant or quick cooking or steel cut)
1 Tbsp of chia seeds
1-2 Tbsp skim milk, or almond milk or coconut milk
1 Tbsp of some kind of sweetener like jam or maple syrup
1/3 cup of fruit, cut into small pieces

Mix the oats, yogurt, chia seeds and milk into a take-along container (I use old mason jars), and mix.  add sweetener, stir, then add fruit to the top.  If adding bananas, add in the morning so they don't go brown.  Put in the fridge for at least 4 hours.  Then you can eat it!

That's it.  No cooking required.  The oats and the chia swell, so this makes a fairly hearty breakfast.  I usually can't eat it all.  You could probably reduce the measurements to 1/4 cups, but I haven't done that.   I really like it.  And its nut free so I can eat it at school.

The first combination that I fell in love with was strawberry jam as the sweetener, and banana as the fruit.  It is yummy.  Since I first started making it, I have created two new flavors:

You make it the same way, but use maple syrup for the sweetener, and blueberries as the fruit.  This is my new favorite.

At a close second it this version.  It is a little tart, but in a good way.  Its second because there are a lot of seeds.  Teeth, proceed with caution on this one.

Got any other nut-free on-the-go breakfast foods for me?  That aren't desserts in disguise?

Monday, 27 August 2012

25 Things Fat People Shouldn't Do: Ride a Bike

25 Things Fat People Shouldn't Do is the brainchild of Jes, The Militant Baker.  After finding an idiotic and ridiculous list on the internet that proclaimed 25 tasks that fat people "shouldn't" do; she metaphorically and literally said "screw that," and  decided to do all the tasks on the list.  In her words, this list "ranges from the absurd to the profoundly shameful," so "[she] will be disproving this offensive notion with style."  I thought it was a brilliant idea; so I joined in.  

A bike works pretty much the same way no matter who is riding it.  You sit, you pedal, and you move forward.  And it worked that way for me, a fat person.  Don't be too shocked when I tell you that I hadn't rode a bike in more than 10 years before we decided to go for a ride on Toronto Island.  

We don't own bikes.  And I was convinced that I forgot how, since I hadn't done it in so long.  Luckily, you don't forget how to ride a bike.  It was pretty easy once I got the seat adjusted to the right height.

I was a little shocked at how fast I rode my rented fixed-gear bike.  It was a lot of fun.  On the island there is (generally) no traffic, so we were able to ride all over the place; past the nude beach (insert schoolgirl giggle here), and the clothing-mandatory beach.

There you have it.  Me, on a bike.  I didn't flatten the tires.  I didn't break any spokes.  I was able to keep up with (and go faster than) my skinny husband.  I was able to cycle for 25+ kilometers (+15 miles).  I didn't have a heart attack.  I even looked pretty cool.  So there, fat people can and should ride bikes. 

To think it took one idiot on the internet to remind me how fun it is.  I am seriously considering getting a bike now.  Do you ride a bike?  

Saturday, 25 August 2012

25 Things Fat People Shouldn't Do (And Why I'm Going to Do Them)

Picture from:
(Edit: I accidentally deleted this post.  Silly Stephanie.  So I found it on the net and republished it.  Sorry that I lost all your comments!)

I googled images using the search term "fat woman."  There are hundreds of vicious comics and jokes about fat women.  Pictures of Circus "Sideshow" women showed up too.  And fetish pornography.  For pages and pages.  But then there was one image that shone in the sea of jokes and fetishist's images.  So I posted it to introduce this post.

Why was I Google image searching "fat woman" in the first place?  That is a good question.  I got thinking about how fat women are portrayed because of a post the Jes wrote on The Militant Baker.  Jes found an ignorant and degrading list of 25 things fat people shouldn't do somewhere on this world wide web.  In true Jes fashion, she is giving the middle finger to that list, and she is going to do all of them

And she has inspired me to join her and add my middle finger to the writer of that list.  The only thing that fat women do wrong, is take up more space then men want them to.  That's it.  And is crazy that us fat women have to pay and suffer for that.  I'm not going to pay anymore without giving some change in return. (Yep.  University taught me how to write metaphors like that one.)  

Here is the list copied word for word from the idiotic internet source:

Do a cannonball
Swing at the park
Wear a bikini
Wear animal print
Eat in public
Wear shirts with glitter
Ride a scooter
Make art of themselves
Jump in an elevator
Be straight
Wear an ironic t-shirt
Go to the movies
Roll down a hill
Walk through a doorway
Go to bars
Fly in an airplane
Sit on anything plastic
Wear a mumu
Sit at a booth
Ride a bike

So, this is a new series for this blog- I'm going to document me doing everything on this list.  Want to join in?  I think that is a fabulous idea.  Pop on over to The Militant Baker and read Jes' eloquent and rallying post.  Then start on that list, take pictures, and link it on back to Jes.  Let me know too, because I would really like to read about your action too!