Monday, 29 October 2012

About a vlog...

So... As part of my comeback special, I'm going to try my hand at vlogging.  I have never done it.  I have only seen a few.  And I have no idea about what I should vlog. 

But, I'm going to try it. 

Maybe it will be some music.

Maybe it will be about some questions.

This is where I need your help.  What should the vlog be about?  What do you want to see?  If you have some questions, will you please email me?  Pretty please?

Sunday, 21 October 2012


Well, I'm on my way back.  I think that the dummies who sent those emails can bite me.  (I know, that's crude; but sometimes there is no classy way to respond to idiots.)

But what I need to plan is a comeback special.  It needs to be something fun.  It needs to be something feminist.  It needs to be something "Bassable."  Yup, I made up a word for what my comeback needs to be.

Help me decide on my comeback special.  Should I:

  • Post a new "25 Things fat People Shouldn't Do"
  • A new "Dirty Hippie" DIY post
  • A vlog, whatever that is
  • Something I haven't even thought of? (Post in comments!)
To vote, comment on your choice.  Its as simple as that!

I can't wait to see what you choose!

Wednesday, 17 October 2012

Right now.

This is me right now.

Right now, I can't sleep.  I got an idea and I had to do something about it.  Otherwise, I would have stayed up worrying that I was going to forget my awesome idea, and it would never come into fruition.  Then I got to the computer and promptly forgot it. 

Instead, I decided to blog right now; about how I do get up at night to paint, or write or anything if my brain tells me I have to do so.  I know I have work in the morning, and that because of my midnight creativity I may need a bucket full of coffee to seem semi-human and semi conscious, but right now, creativity feels good.

Right now, there are drunk people yelling outside.  Its 1:30 in the morning.  I wonder why they aren't worried about being hungover tomorrow.  And I'm a little bit jealous that I don't go out and have fun late anymore because of tommorrow.

I am not complaining.

Right now, I have a totally fulfilling job.  I love what I do.  Sometimes my students totally surprise me.  For example, last week it was a boy's birthday in one of my classes.  I asked him to take the attendance record to the office.  While he was gone, the students in his class sang the National Anthem in French with no prompting from me.  To reward them, I gave them "Boutique Bucks" a coupon of sorts they can save and spend in my prize shop.  Without any word, each students put their newly acquired buck on the birthday boys' desk.  And when he came back from the office, he had 30 "Boutique bucks" on his desk.  It was really moving to see those kids think outside of themselves.

Right now I can hear D snoring.  He snores loud.  Its a calming sound though.  Its rhythmic, and that helps me relax.  It reminds me of home a little because my dad snored like a buzz saw.  My dad's snoring made me feel safe.  D's snoring kinda does that too.

Right now, there are  hundreds of lights on in the apartment building outside my window.  When I can't sleep, I look at it.  What are all those people doing?  We should all be asleep.  There will be lights on all night in that building.  I know 3 people that live there.  I wonder if their lights are on?

Right now, this is what's happening.  Its not much, but its a lot for someone who should be asleep.  I may try and write about what is happening in the day time. But right now, its all about my insomnia. 

What is happening "right now" for you?

Saturday, 13 October 2012

Trying not to take haters to heart...

Buy the print from:

Sorry for the break, my friends.  I just needed some time away from all the mean things the blogosphere can be.  What is can be is petty, mean-spirited, rude, soul-destroying and disheartening.

Its hard not to feel a little sad when complete strangers take the time to write awful things about you, to you.

But it took me some time to remember that it can also be empowering, caring and thoughtful.

A few weeks ago I got an awful email about how wrong I was for posting what I did about my union and my job.  I was attacked for being selfish; for not caring about my students and so forth. 

Its not like I haven't heard that before.  

But the emails got worse.  A few people mined my blog for anything that they could use to attack me-- my writing about how I glorify fatness, and then about my depression; and because I write about and live these things, how I must be bad at my job. 

It was the craziest shit.  At first I was really really mad.  Then I got really sad.  I couldn't (and still really can't) understand why these people came after my blog; why they came after me.

What is most confounding is why spend the time and energy trying to break someone down? 

Luckily for me, I'm an adult with perspective, and critical thinking skills.  I also have an awesome support network of friends and family that help me remember that its just the internet.  I got lovely, encouraging emails from people I had never met.  I had people to help me remember that "haters are going to hate."

But then this happened

Now I'm mad again. (Anger is my default emotion as of late.)

Who has the right to use the internet, this tool, this vast bank of information as a weapon?  That's what is happening.  The internet has become a new weapon.  Its the perfect kind of weapon, because the people who wield it don't have to see the aftermath.  Any coward can use it.

And that's what this type of bullying is, cowardice.  These people are COWARDS.

When the "bullying" that happens costs people their lives, shouldn't we have a better name for it?  No wonder no one takes it as seriously- it has the same name as calling someone disparaging names.  And that is bad, but it is getting much worse.

Children are not being just "bullied" on the internet; they are being all-out harassed; and sexually harassed.  They are being Cyber-Assaulted.  

This is gone beyond bullying.  This is assault.  The cowards that perpetrate this type of harassment should be charged with a crime.