Spectacles! (Or more appropriately, how the optometrist doesn't think I'm funny)

My new glasses

My partner D and I decided to go on the wildly expensive adventure of getting our eyes checked, and getting new glasses yesterday.

When we got to the office, I embarrassed D by not letting him check us in until I had checked the credentials of the optometrist.  I looked at the diplomas and made sure they were real schools and not like University of Phoenix Online; I asked for the doctor's license number, you know all the stuff neurotic people do when seeing a new doctor.  Everything checked out (Thank goodness!) and we checked in.  I forgot to mention that we were the only people in the place, and the receptionist was not as enthusiastic about my thoroughness.

We had our "pre-screening"  and D went first.  Through the door, I could hear a lot of laughing and conversation.  That's cool, D's a charming guy.  Apparently, listening through the door of a medical office is not cool, or so I was told went they caught me listening.  It was my turn, and being a woman who knows what she wants, I demanded the same level of jovial conversation as D had.  Needless to say, I didn't get it.  And I think the "tester" was overzealous with that puff of air in my eyes too.

Now it was time for the real deal.  I saw the doctor.  We talked about my last eye test (10 years ago) and set to the task.  I rocked those big letters.  I was good on the medium letters.  I guessed the small letters.  I got them wrong.  I asked if anyone ever got those letters.  She said, "Yep, people who can see."

It was not going well.

Next slide.  I guessed.  And I got them right!  But the doc guessed I was guessing.

Next slide: I guessed again.  The doctor said, "Oh, come on! Just tell me you can't see them."

I said, "I can't see them."

She said, "are you saying that becasue I told you to?"

Me, "Yes."

Then she asked me to read the letters I could see.  So I did.  I needed glasses.  She said I should wear them all the time.  I said that we both knew that wouldn't happen, so I asked when were the most important times to wear them.  Begrudgingly, she told me while driving and at night.  Deal.

The doctor warned me that with my new glasses, I would be wobbly, and the floor would look uneven.  I may stumble a little for the first few days.

I said, "that's ok.  I'll just start drinking now.  At least I can have fun while working these new glasses."

Then she told me to get out.  It's too bad I only have to see her once a year.