Trying not to take haters to heart...

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Sorry for the break, my friends.  I just needed some time away from all the mean things the blogosphere can be.  What is can be is petty, mean-spirited, rude, soul-destroying and disheartening.

Its hard not to feel a little sad when complete strangers take the time to write awful things about you, to you.

But it took me some time to remember that it can also be empowering, caring and thoughtful.

A few weeks ago I got an awful email about how wrong I was for posting what I did about my union and my job.  I was attacked for being selfish; for not caring about my students and so forth. 

Its not like I haven't heard that before.  

But the emails got worse.  A few people mined my blog for anything that they could use to attack me-- my writing about how I glorify fatness, and then about my depression; and because I write about and live these things, how I must be bad at my job. 

It was the craziest shit.  At first I was really really mad.  Then I got really sad.  I couldn't (and still really can't) understand why these people came after my blog; why they came after me.

What is most confounding is why spend the time and energy trying to break someone down? 

Luckily for me, I'm an adult with perspective, and critical thinking skills.  I also have an awesome support network of friends and family that help me remember that its just the internet.  I got lovely, encouraging emails from people I had never met.  I had people to help me remember that "haters are going to hate."

But then this happened. 

Now I'm mad again. (Anger is my default emotion as of late.)

Who has the right to use the internet, this tool, this vast bank of information as a weapon?  That's what is happening.  The internet has become a new weapon.  Its the perfect kind of weapon, because the people who wield it don't have to see the aftermath.  Any coward can use it.

And that's what this type of bullying is, cowardice.  These people are COWARDS.

When the "bullying" that happens costs people their lives, shouldn't we have a better name for it?  No wonder no one takes it as seriously- it has the same name as calling someone disparaging names.  And that is bad, but it is getting much worse.

Children are not being just "bullied" on the internet; they are being all-out harassed; and sexually harassed.  They are being Cyber-Assaulted.  

This is gone beyond bullying.  This is assault.  The cowards that perpetrate this type of harassment should be charged with a crime.