6 Lessons I Learned from 80s television:
1. No matter how bad
it got, the plucky orphans will be okay.
If there is one thing that Punky Brewster, Webster,
Arnold and Willis from Diffr’ent Strokes
taught me, it’s that cute, sassy orphans
will get the family they need, and change the lives of their adopted families
for the better. This was comforting to
me. Throughout my childhood, I spent my time being plucky and spirited
just in case... Not that I ever wanted to be an orphan, I was just covering my
bases.
2. There doesn’t always need to be a boss.
Who was the boss? Was
it Angela? Or Tony? Maybe it was man-crazy Mona? No one ever
knew. You know why, because the boss
wasn’t on the show. It was all of us
watching. The boss was in our hearts.
3. If something goes wrong, just go back in time and fix it.
Quantum Leap and Sliders knew how to change history. Forget these new movies like The Butterfly Effect, those nerds are
over-thinking it. What could go wrong?
Just go and fix the error. Don’t
re-write the whole story, just edit.
Everything will be fine. Why do
you worry so much?
4. Mom and Dad can fix your problems in 22 minutes.
Sure you’ll spend 16 minutes trying to get yourself out of
trouble, but in the end you will have to tell them. And in 5 minutes, your parents will be able
to undo your mistake and the outcome of your crazy half-cocked plan to get out
of trouble. They will leave enough time to tell you they
love you, and that they hope you’ve learned from your mistake. Of course you have. Hug it out.
5. There is such thing as “Justifiable Braticide.”
The Cosby Show
taught me that parents were allowed to kill their bratty children. Cliff Huxtable
told Theo, “I brought you into this world, and I can take you out.”
What a comforting thought for a child.
6. There were no rules for nicknames; it was wide open.
On Growing Pains, Mike Seaver's best friend was "Boner." On The Cosby Show, Theo's best friend, "Cockroach." Yep.
